I like posts like I like my periods.

     I have figured out what will bring about the "Chip in the hand, Mark of the Beast" ending foretold by fundamentalist Christians worldwide: Captcha. Here's why: You're browsing the infinite brain numbing content of the internet. You find something so utterly mind numbing that you decide your friends would benefit from this shot of digital Novocaine and click the convenient little "F" button under the content. Next thing you know, you're trying to figure out how to type characters you're pretty sure don't actually exist. I have no clue how to place an apostrophe OVER letters (The technical name is called a grave, though there's supposed to be one over the A in the word, and I don't know how to type the damn thing, and I don't want to 2 people reading this going around calling the mark a hole to put dead things in...). Captcha's are meant to find out whether you are a spambot or human, and I firmly believe that if the poster in question pulls off some of the more fancy letters, they should be immediately identified as a bot. 
     Ranting aside, we move on to how this brings about the (poorly interpreted) apocalypse of Revelations. More and more people become more and more frustrated with the typographical acrobatics demanded by this program created by what I am now (safely, I feel) assuming is an evil, secret organization, hell bent on world domination (Or more commonly known as The Catholic Church).
     Reeling and infuriated, people like me utter in customer reviews and into the microphones of our computers that are probably monitored by the government for lack of anything better to do, "I'd rather just have a fucking chip drilled into my skull than decode this aneurism inducing Linear A attempt at HTML and type in in this little box!" "Ok!", this secret, evil organization replies. 
     Eventually, everyone has one of these chips, and, as always, some asshole figures out how to exploit them. The chips will offer us incredible health, which for a while will be great, but once hacker types start exploiting its weaknesses, we will have to endure a brand new and more deeply annoying version of a captcha. "During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them." -Rev. 9:6 The rapture will turn out to be a group of the computer illiterate (ever wonder why fundies have a natural disposition towards anything remotely tech?) individuals who simply killed themselves out of frustration at the original captcha programs. And the antichrist will be the Pope, right?
     Guess again. Mark Zuckerberg. If it weren't for facebook, we wouldn't feel such a need to share so many mindless picutres, articles, and videos with the world, meaning the demand for captcha would decrease dramatically. Besides, we've all seen The Social Network, and what he did was totally messed up. How could he not be the antichrist? (To be fair, I've not seen the film, but I assume he did something shitty we all could find fault with, so just pick out that thing, and imagine that's what I'm talking about.)
     Unfortunately, this means that the first of the four horsemen is already upon us: Pestilence. Next will come our War against captcha, followed by Famine induced by our need for social networking, but refusal to take part in the cryptogrammatical exercises necessary to enjoy this luxury. This, of course, will be followed by Death, as we opt to simply murder ourselves than deal with the lunacy of such an expectation.
     Laughter, by the way, is the correct response to this post. If anyone is reading this and nodding their head in actual agreement, they are to ideally commit themselves immediately. After studying New Religious Movements for only a semester, I know it takes less than something like this to haphazardly spawn some movement demanding legitimacy. So before the wrong person gets the wrong idea, Don't.
     As for the logical fallacy of the day, I promise to get better with it. The whole moving to NY thing has been quite demanding of my attention lately, which is why I've been so quiet, and may continue to be for another few weeks before I get myself settled into my new life at Columbia.
     Re-read this post now, and make note of the first letter of every new paragraph. Relevant to the title of this post, it will explain just how I like my posts as well as my periods. (Which is my rather lewd way of apologizing for being so bad at daily posts.)

I readily admit, I'm terrible at doing anything regularly.

I've not written anything or even posted a logical fallacy in over a week. Oops. Blogging is still pretty new, so I'm gonna call mulligan on this one and just distract you with a logical fallacy.

The Gambler's Fallacy is the false assumption that events that are separate and isolated from any other event in question can effect the outcome of another event. A common example used to explain this is a coin toss. Most people (incorrectly) assume that if a person tosses the same coin 3 times and gets three heads, the probability of getting a tails has become higher. What is not being considered here is that every coin toss has a 50% chance of being either heads or tails. Regardless of what the last toss resulted in, the chance at the new coin toss of it being a heads is 50%.